Do you ever have that feeling where you think your head might explode from all the thoughts that are running around in it? I’ve had this feeling for a long time now so I thought I’d write about this in today’s post.
I’m hoping that by getting some of this out of my head, I’ll get some clarity as to why this is and stop myself from going crazy in the meantime!
Back in my school and college days, I was as laid back as a professional sunbather on a beach and thought ahead perhaps as far as the next week. My school reports always included comments like, “Hayley’s coursework was slow but she got there in the end!” and “Hayley would benefit from being proactive with her exam revision.” 😉
I didn’t feel the need for doing everything at the speed of light and procrastination was my middle name (it still is sometimes I guess). I didn’t have this constant feeling of ‘rushing’ that I have now. It’s almost like I’m worried about running out of time before I get to where I want to be in my life. I’m not exactly sure where that is yet but I can pinpoint the following by way of a vision:
- Pay our consumer debts off.
- Build a financially secure future for our family (retirement fund, savings etc).
- Buy our ‘forever’ home somehow where we can settle and actually try to pay the mortgage off.
- Live a good peaceful life without stress.
Within this vision, I need to raise my daughter the best way I can and make sure that my relationship with the hubby remains as strong as ever. My hubby shares this same vision but unlike me, he’s so chilled out and takes one day at a time!
Perhaps it’s because currently my life is the exact opposite of these ideals as to why I feel like I can’t wait to crack on with the next project. Whether that’s trying to get freelance work, thinking up side hustles that I can do, shopping around for new service and insurance providers, checking my shiny new budget and expenses tracking spreadsheet every day – the list goes on!
Not to mention working on my blog which is now much more than a hobby and an outlet for my thoughts on debt. It’s a big part of my life that I really feel passionate about now. I love working on my blog!
So it’s not that I don’t want to do all of that stuff, it’s just that I can’t seem to get the pace right with everything. When I’m constantly thinking of the all the things I want / need to get done, I find that I spend time doing just that – thinking and not doing (sigh).
Take side hustles for example. There are so many avenues I’d like to explore but I can’t seem to get my head around which ones are realistic, which ones could be successful or worthwhile doing and which aren’t. But I usually start thinking about this kind of stuff once I’ve finished work and my daughter is safely tucked up in bed (around 8pm). By that time, I’m exhausted and just want to hook up with the third love of my life… my blog. My hubby is very understanding. 🙂
So what’s the answer?
1. Goal setting and taking baby steps
I’m not sure I have an answer as such but now I’ve got all that out of my head, I’m thinking that this boils down to goal setting. Not just taking into account my ‘to do’ list but setting actual goals that will help me to take those tiny steps to the lifestyle I want in the future.
I did make a list of goals at the end of last month and they might be a bit unrealistic, but anyway here are my specific goals for between now and Christmas:
- Start monetising the blog.
- Set up one side hustle that’s regular and which I enjoy.
- Clear that dratted credit card that I’ve had practically forever.
- Â Create an outline idea for an ebook.
I’m going to make sure these goals feature on my ‘to do’ list from now on, perhaps doing something each week to progress just one of them.
2. Prioritise and cut down the general ‘to do’ list
Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself to get everything done all at once. My ‘to do’ list at the moment consists of all sorts of things: ordering a new printer cartridge; doing paperwork for my day job; selling stuff on eBay; starting my tax return, as well as elements from my actual goals. It’s a real mixed bag!
So each day, I’m going to take either one biggish task or two smallish tasks from the ‘to do’ list and just get them done. And not beat myself up about not doing more.
I guess time is running out to make sure the hubby and I are set up financially and living a stress free life whilst we’ve still got our health and wits about us. But perhaps I need a little balance!
Do you feel like you can’t keep up or are running out of time to get things done sometimes? I’m hoping it’s not just me! 🙂
Related posts:
- I will not give in: the cycle of debt has been broken!
- Increase your happiness – and your wealth: just say no!
- A little perspective goes a long way.
* Photo courtesy of Michal Marcol at freedigitalphotos.net
45 Comments
Hey. I thought to comment on this to say I think one stress that is on you, like me, is the work we put on ourselves with the blogs we own. I know its little in comparison to other stress but it is a lot of work. I hope you are all okay though 🙂
Martin recently posted…How To Advertise Your Freelance Service
Thanks so much Martin! I know what you mean about the work we put on ourselves in relation to our blogs. It is a ton of work, I love it though. That’s one area I don’t want to cut back on lol! I will just have to prioritise this over something else. 🙂
Oh I agree. Blogging is a great ‘waste’ of time but very enjoyable so worth it 🙂 Thanks.
Martin recently posted…Money: Halloween on a budget
Procrastination and lack of goal setting are two of the major things which prevent so many of us from reaching our dreams.
Wouldnt it be great if we could send our minds somewhere for a “service and oil change” and come out the other side with a brand new can do attitude and boundless reserves of energy.
getrichwithme recently posted…Cutting Your Costs
Nope it’s not just you. I feel that way all the time. For me I just take one day at a time with an idea of what I want to end result to look like, then start plugging away. You can’t do everything, so just pace yourself!
Budget and the Beach recently posted…Fincon13: Inspired and Overwhelmed!
Thanks Tonya! I’m glad it’s not just me that feels like this! 🙂
I see a lot of other bloggers that are in their 20’s that are debt free and building wealth. This triggers this anxiety about how I’m already too late and it’s going to take forever and I’ll never be able to catch up. But I try to refocus on myself. Sometimes it’s better not to get other peoples’ perspective.
Michelle’s Finance Journal recently posted…Stress Melter
Great advice Michelle! That’s so true, there are lots of PF bloggers who are doing great for themselves. As inspiring as they are, it’s hard not to compare even subconsciously!
With my wife gone, and the new “do it now” thing I’m trying out, I find I have too much time (not to sound like a jerk). It’s a weird feeling. I’ll knock out a few things and then look around and feel like I’m ahead of the game. A trick I like (I stole it from another blogger) is to write down three big “to do’s” at the start of the day. If you finish those three, you get a pass for the rest of the day. After a few days of this, I’m always amazed at what gets done.
Done by Forty recently posted…The Cherokee Land Lottery: What Happens When You Randomize Wealth
I like the idea of the three big ‘to dos’ Mr. DB40! That makes sense to me because if we’ve achieved 3 things that day, that’s great! P.S. You could never sound like a jerk! 🙂
I felt this way too when I was still relatively new to the PF world and my obsession with it was very strong. I felt like I had all these IDEAS but NOT ENOUGH TIME to accompolish everything. I also felt like I was very behind in the financial life game because of my big ol’ debt. The feeling of “running out of time” went away with time (ironically) 😉
Girl Meets Debt recently posted…I Shopped for Some Wants…And I Liked It!
I’m glad it’s not just me GMD! It doesn’t help having a ‘day job’ in terms of wanting to explore other ideas, although obviously wages earned does help massively with debt repayments. 🙂 I look forward to this feeling easing off slightly as I learn to be patient in the future!
I hear you, Hayley! I think time is one of our most precious and valuable commodities. I am often guilty of putting too much on my plate. I’m trying to cull it to the things that matter most but a lot things matter to me. 🙂 Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself too. You are smart to take a step back and assess which priority is the important and create and plan for it.
Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted…Financial Literacy Makes A Difference
Thanks Shannon. 🙂 I think cutting down is the key. Things like housework are taking a back seat right now especially ironing. 🙂
One bite at a time. Monetizing is simple though, just go through Google Adsense.
save. spend. splurge. recently posted…You can get more money if you’re unemployed in France than if you work minimum wage
I’ve been thinking of trying Google Adsense but because my traffic isn’t all that high yet (I don’t think anyway), I’m not sure whether it would be worth it. Still, I can try it and see! 🙂
Prioritizing is so important. Often when we feel like we are stressed and running out of time, we are actually focusing our attention on the non-essential tasks. If we can concentrate on these, life becomes much easier.
moneystepper recently posted…Real wages in the UK – how inflation is impacting your salary
I agree. When we focus on non essential tasks, we sometimes feel like we’re putting off the important stuff and that can make us feel even more stressed.
“Live a good peaceful life without stress” – this is my ultimate goal in life and I hope I can achieve it one day. I worry too much about all sorts of things, I get anxious and end up having a full blown panic attack which is a frightening experience and something I could really do without. I will write about it one day soon as this hugely affects my life and my decisions. I try to avoid stress at all costs. I try to only do things that I enjoy doing and things that make me happy. Don’t stress yourself over little things, take one step at a time and focus on a bigger picture. I am sure you will succeed in all your goals (I just know it! :P)!
Eva @ Girl Counting Pennies recently posted…A Little Confession about Blogging
Thanks so much Eva! I think there are lots of people who would benefit from learning how you handle your anxiety so I hope you do write about this one day soon. In the past I’ve suffered from depression which was linked to anxiety at work, it was a horrible time and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I think there are many people out there in similar situations. Great advice on only doing things that make you happy! 🙂
Hey Hayley 🙂
“When I’m constantly thinking of the all the things I want / need to get done, I find that I spend time doing just that – thinking and not doing (sigh).” – Join the club!! And by the way, procrastination is also MY middle name as many can attest to!
The good news is that you have a ton of time…or at least you will once you grasp the fact that you don’t have to do ti all at once! It’s obvious that your first priority is debt reduction. But that is an ongoing concern that does not need to take up all your time…especially now that you have a shiny new budget 🙂
All the other stuff you wanna do, will get done bit by bit. Tackle the small stuff first and click them off your to do list. You will not only be doing stuff but you’ll feel accomplished, which can really motivate you into delving into bigger projects. And remember, you also have a husband who can presumably help you out with stuff…like the Ebay selling and what not.
All that being said, I shouldn’t talk ’cause I’m just like you. Two things I have learned in my five decades on this planet: When you’re super busy you actually get more done; and when you’re desperate enough to get things done, you will.
Not sure if that helps but it’s all I got at the moment 🙂
Take care and don’t fret. You’ll work things out nicely for you and your family.
All my best to all.
Lyle
lyle @ the Joy of Simple recently posted…Reader Q & A: On Courage And The Road Less Travelled!
Thanks Lyle for such an inspiring answer – you’re right I just need to realise that I don’t have to do everything at once! I really like your perspective on life and I need to be more like this.
“When you’re super busy you actually get more done; and when you’re desperate enough to get things done, you will.” I love this little nugget from your five decades of life so far. 🙂
Hayley recently posted…Running out of time!
Yep…there’s always more to do than time to do it in. I just made a decision to streamline my email and it’s working like a charm! Here’s what I did:
– create a Blog Subscriptions folder in your email.
– set a rule that all the incoming emails from blog subscriptions automatically go to that folder.
– every morning, delete any email you didn’t get to the day before. Leave only emails with today’s date stamp.
– read the ones you can or want to that day.
– get up the next morning and repeat!
I’m actually getting to read more posts because I’m not fighting my inbox!
Ree Klein recently posted…3 Compelling Reasons to Install a Storage Shed in Your Yard
Yes Ree!!! I need to do this – my inbox is clogged up with a mixture of unread and read emails (about 4000 of them!) – maybe I should delete them all and start again from tomorrow? I don’t know whether I ‘dare’ do it though!
Hey Hayley…why not back up your emails onto a CD/DVD or USB stick and then delete the emails. This way, you’ll have a backup in case you need something and you’ll also have a clean inbox. There a bunch of tutorials on the Web that can help you walk through the steps depending on which email client you use.
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
lyle @ the Joy of Simple recently posted…Reader Q & A: On Courage And The Road Less Travelled!
Great idea Lyle! I have a USB stick somewhere so I’ll try this. I’m fairly sure I don’t need any emails but I’m a bit of a hoarder! 🙂
Hayley! I was going to say something profound and then read Lyle’s comment and realized he said it better than I ever could. Prioritizing is key. I know you feel like you have to do everything, but we only have a certain number of hours in a day. Make sure you’re taking care of you – your health especially. Make sure you get enough sleep as this is huge for me. When I am stressed, I tend to stay on the computer later and then have trouble sleeping – not smart! Sleep, eat well, and make sure you keep those you love really close. I learned the hard way that trying to do too many things burns you out fast. Remember to breathe. Breathing is really good for living!
Tammy R recently posted…I Love the NFL
Thanks Tammy! (Lyle’s comment was fab wasn’t it!) Yes, health is really important and it can be so easy to ‘burn out’ if those vital elements like sleep, food and relaxation are being compromised. I’ll make sure to get some rest this weekend!
Hayley recently posted…Keep Calm and Carry On! Part 1
You’re both too kind and wise beyond your years 🙂 Thanks for the support and encouragement. Take care and all the best.
Lyle
lyle @ the Joy of Simple recently posted…Reader Q & A: On Courage And The Road Less Travelled!
I do feel similarly, and I have for a while. I am not sure if it started with dating my ex, who was four years older and already had an established career, but I’ve felt so behind for years. It helps to not compare yourself to others sometimes, as I feel like that’s very easy to do with other bloggers sharing their stories. It seems like you’re off to a great start by making goals and tackling things little by little. I need to do that!
E.M. recently posted…Frugal Meal #2 – Baked Ziti
Thanks E.M. I love reading other blogger’s success stories, they really motivate me but I guess there is a part of me that is thinking, “I can’t wait to achieve that!” Very good advice to try to stop comparing our situation to others, which I guess I’m guilty of subconsciously. Good luck with writing your goals. I hope you post them on your blog for us to see!
I ALWAYS feel like I’m running out of time! Like you, my BF takes it all one day at a time, and he’s rubbing off on me. I think it benefits us to have counterparts remind us that we just need to slow down sometimes.
Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans recently posted…Links Lisa Likes – 10/20/13
I think there’s definitely a pattern in relationships where one person is laid back and the other is thinking ahead and occasionally getting stressed out about running out of time! 🙂
Hayley recently posted…Keep Calm and Carry On! Part 2
Hi Hayley!
Great post and I love the image to go with it! (my work desk is equally covered in post it notes)
Good initiative on prioritising the to-do list, I’m a prime candidate for doing all of the small tasks and leaving the big ones til last!
I think the hardest part of my transition from student life to the working world is realising that I only have three hours left at the end of each day. It’s amazing what we can do in this time when we have to though!
Joe @ Budget Breakaway recently posted…Plan Your Weekend Breakaway on a Budget!
Thanks Joe, really appreciate you stopping by! Those three hours at the end of the day are so precious aren’t they! 🙂
“3rd love of my life” lol. I feel the exact same way. Blogging is super time consuming and not very lucrative (yet, I’m still working on that). I feel like there are so many things that I want to do that I sometimes get started on a few and then don’t finish any of them. A whole weekend could go by and I don’t actually finish any of the projects I intended on starting. I need to be much better about time management and making simple “to do” lists that are actually achievable.
KK @ Student Debt Survivor recently posted…Compromising Saved Me Money
I don’t know what it is about blogging that I love so much, but definitely being part of this community is a key highlight for me. I hope it becomes lucrative for me one day too but we’ll see how that goes! It’s definitely helping me focus on the debts which is really important for me! Good luck with your time management and ‘to do’ lists!
Irony here, girl! I’ve been on this same pace for several months now (just over a year, in fact). I’ve started to have some stress-related semi-serious health problems this week, though, and it’s got me re-thinking things real quick as I take a forced sabbatical of sorts. It’s so very difficult to find that work/life balance, isn’t it?
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer recently posted…An Old Farmer’s Words to Live By
Hi Laurie sorry to read you’ve been having some stress related issues, I hope you are doing ok? Stepping back from things is a good thing to do sometimes – I really struggle with work / life balance too. Sending you hugs!
Am right there with you Hayley…I look at my to-do list and it just keeps on growing…somethings have been on the back-burner so long I don’t think they will be relevant when I get to them. There simply seems to be no time to pursue them.
Increasingly though, am learning to relax (you should really consider borrowing a leaf from your hubby…chill). In the grand scheme of things, most of what might be keeping us so busy might not be that improtant. Additionally I’d suggest checking out Richard Koch’s book the 80/20 principle. It’ll change your life and how you prioritize tasks…you’ll end up achieving more being more happier and relaxed, promise 🙂
Simon @ Modest Money recently posted…Scottrade Review – Exclusive Review of Scottrade Investment Brokerage
Hi Simon! I agree, I should definitely take a leaf out of the hubby’s book from time to time! Thanks so much for this book recommendation – I’m going to have to check this out! I’ll let you know how I get on with it. 🙂
I suspect you don’t have much of a to-do list, and that it’s all in your head, or scattered around across multiple pieces of paper.
I was like that before I started doing daily planning. Now I have all my tasks in one place (todoist, if anyone’s interested), and every morning (sometimes the night before) sit down and plan my day. Each day has a few things I have to get done at the top of my list, and other things I’ll do if I have time but aren’t urgent. Things that don’t have a deadline get put in the undated list, and each month I review the undated list and remove irrelevant items, and schedule ones that I want to get done that month. Naturally, the list is divided by projects – home, finance, blog, work (with subprojects), etc.
Works great for me! And eliminates all that stress of “what do I do next”. Just look at the list.
Jack @ Enwealthen recently posted…Great Enwealthen Anniversary Giveaway 2013
I feel behind all the time, so I guess I can somewhat relate. Sometimes, when I do take a few minutes, or even a couple hours to “relax” on the weekend, I feel guilty like I should be working on something from my HUGE to-do list, or I should be doing something that can help me earn more money to pay off my debts. Sigh… But sometimes I do just need to veg out. I am only human afterall and so are you 🙂
Shoeaholicnomore recently posted…Use it Up: Final Tally
Very true! We can only do what we can do. We always want more time to get done what we need to. I’ve found that using my time more efficiently helps. E.g. I set myself one task each day that definitely needs doing!