When I first started this blog, being anonymous was really important to me. To be honest, this blog would never have been created if I couldn’t have done so anonymously.
I wanted a place to pour out my thoughts and feelings about the impact debt was having on my life and I didn’t want people I came into contact with “in real life” to know about it.
You see, I had developed a sort of pretence that everything was fine in real life, when really I was struggling to survive every month financially. When you pretend for so long, it’s difficult to make an about-face and let the people you love know that you’re in trouble.
This wasn’t helped by the fact that I used to feel embarrassed about our debt problems. I had a low self worth and felt like a failure a lot of the time.
There’s no way I would have felt comfortable enough to bare all about my debt problems on this blog if I knew there was a chance of my old co-workers seeing it, or family members or even friends. It’s just how I felt back then.
That’s why I started out as an anonymous blogger, but after becoming debt free and turning my life around, I still choose to remain anonymous. Here’s why…
Why I still blog anonymously
I’m no longer embarrassed about the debts I had – one of the first things I learned through blogging was that I definitely wasn’t alone in my struggle.
I feel the opposite now actually – really proud of what I’ve achieved and glad to take some positives out of being in debt. I no longer feel like a failure and I feel much better about myself now that I’ve taken control of my finances and turned my life around.
But I’m still an anonymous blogger. Anonymous to a point at least. You know my first name and you might know whereabouts I live in the UK. You know I’m married and I have a daughter. You know what I do for a living and what I want to achieve in my life. You even know the full extent of my income each month and how I earn it!
In fact, the only personal information I haven’t shared in my blog is my surname and a profile picture – although I know that some of you will know this anyway as there are ways and means of finding this type of info out!
The reason I remain an anonymous blogger on the whole though is because in doing so, I feel like I can be totally honest with you in the posts I write. From how much debt we were in, to how we paid off our debt, to how much money I make online – I can share my thoughts with you openly.
In real life, I’m very much a private person and an introvert. I don’t really like being the centre of attention and I keep myself to myself. My family are private people too – it’s just the way we are. I’m aware that some of the information I share on this blog could affect the people close to me – because some of what I write relates to them too.
For example, it’s not just my debt problems I’ve shared with you. They were my husband’s problems too. I’ve written some pretty personal posts about our finances and our relationship before – even about the state of my mental health.
There are things I’ve shared here which I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about even with the people who are closest to me. I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve here on this blog.
My husband has his own business which is quite high profile in his industry and if he was to be recognised, well… I’m not sure how that would affect his work. It might not affect it at all, but I don’t really want to take the risk.
I guess what I’m saying is that being anonymous allows me to share my personal thoughts and detailed aspects of my finances without impacting anyone in my day-to-day life.
Can I still be a successful blogger whilst being anonymous?
This is the question I constantly ask myself. Everything I’ve read about professional blogging points to being open and honest – so that you can connect with your readers and be taken seriously.
One of the first things you “should” do as a blogger is write your About page and stick a profile picture up on your blog so that readers can connect with you.
Well, it took me about 6 months to write an About page and after 3 years, I still don’t have a photo. Yet, I still feel as though you, the reader, can connect with me here. I hope you know by now that I’m a real person!
I’ve found that I’ve managed to grow my blog even though I’m anonymous. I’m able to make money from this blog and it’s an important income stream for me.
There have been a few times where being anonymous has held me back. For example, I’ve been invited to go on TV on occasion to talk about personal finance and my experiences. So far, I’ve declined, for all of the reasons above.
But can I still be successful? Yes, I think so. There are other anonymous bloggers who have totally made it. Take J Money for instance, founder of Budgets are Sexy and Rockstar Finance. Whenever I doubt what I’m trying to do here, I always look to him as inspiration – he’s one of my blogging heroes.
It’s harder to be successful when you’re an anonymous blogger, but definitely not impossible. I’m not sure whether I’ll “come out” properly on the blog at some point in the future, but at the moment I’m happy as I am!
What do you think about blogging openly or anonymously?
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30 Comments
It’s funny what you said about J Money because he just is J Money to me. Knowing his real name at this point would be weird. I think for me not been anonymous helped my career out more, but I do admit there were times I wanted to be more open and honest about this one client I was working for as a freelancer for seven years, but I couldn’t. But on the other hand it also kept me from complaining. I think you just need to do what is right for you.
Yes that’s right, J Money is just J Money! I know you’ve mentioned briefly about this one freelancing client who was a pain before, I bet you’re glad you don’t have to work with them now you have your new job?
Hi- thank you for this lovely post and your blog. I too would like to set up an anonymous blog but I can’t see how to go about it. Do you have any advice about the logistics of being anonymous online? Thanks for any help you can offer! Barbara
Hi Barbara, thanks for stopping by and commenting! You can choose not to publish your personal information in the posts you write on your blog for starters. For a profile picture, you can have a gratavar instead, I use one for my social media profile images. You can even have a cartoon or illustration for a profile picture if you like. In addition, when you set up a blog, your hosting provider will automatically make your personal data available to searches via WHOIS – a website where you can search for registered domain name owners. You can choose to make your data private though by paying your hosting provider an additional fee (not much). I hope this helps somewhat – drop me an email if you have any specific questions and I’ll do my best to help! In addition, if you’re new to setting up a blog, you might want to check out this post I wrote on how to get started: http://diseasecalleddebt.com/how-to-make-money-with-a-blog/ – thanks for your kind words about this post and my blog. 🙂
I don’t see anything wrong with choosing to blog anonymously. I choose to do that too, not because I am embarassed about my past financial mistakes, but because I can be 100% honest about everything, every single detail! I’d really love to share my photo with my readers but I feel that there’s something holding me back, and I accept it. When I’m ready I’ll become more public, but not just yet. You have to do what works best for you 🙂
Eva @ Girl Counting Pennies recently posted…4 Bad Financial Habits to Break Right Now
Hi Eva! I know exactly what you mean, this is just how I feel. But being able to divulge such personal info without fear of any personal comebacks is liberating. I know being able to do this has done wonders for my self-confidence, even though I’m somewhat anonymous.
I choose not to blog anonymously because one of my goals in blogging is to provide resources that help people that I personally know and care about. I can totally see the benefits of blogging anonymously though and the ability to provide additional information that otherwise may be too personal to share. It’s definitely a trade off. Love your blog!
Hi Kathryn, that’s great that you’re able to blog openly because people you know and love are being helped by your blog! I understand why you’d want to do that. It must be a great feeling helping people that you know in this way.
This makes a very interesting read. I’ve had a tough old time lately with my identity being ~out there~, including a Guru Gossiper post and comments on Daily Mail about me weight (less about my ability to earn over £3,000 a month online!). I definitely see how attractive it is to blog “anonymously”. I might not know your surname or what you look like, but I feel as though I still know you and can relate to what you write.
Emma @ From Aldi To Harrods recently posted…DIY gel nails with United Beauty
Sheesh, I can’t believe some people! They should be commending you for putting yourself out there and sharing your life with others- earning over £3K per month is fantastic! Now that is something to talk about! You know you have a fan in me Emma. I’m glad you feel like you know me (and I’m sure we’ll meet at some point in real life)! 🙂
Well I’m a newbie when it comes to blogging. I have had the same reservations about getting too personal when it comes to who I am. Right now it’s mainly because I am in debt and I don’t know what people that know the real me would think. So as of right now I think I am content with staying somewhat anonymous.
Like you, I have only released my first name, the fact that I am married, I’m in debt, love sports, and I like to have a cold drink now and again. If you can figure out who I am from that than more power to you.
Another reason that I like staying anonymous is, like you said, I feel that I can be more open in writing.
Am I a writer…not at all…
Am I good at it.. not at all
But with this I really don’t feel like I have to be the best. I just feel like I can be honest with my situations and what I am doing about them.
So long story short, I am with you on being anonymous isn’t going to hurt you in the long run.
You certainly aren’t going to lose a reader here!!
-kb
That’s the beauty of blogging – you don’t have to be an amazing writer, it’s just about getting your thoughts out there and connecting with regular people, who can relate to what you have to say. Thanks for stopping by Kevin and commenting, I really appreciate it. Look forward to checking out your blog!
Hayley, this was something my wife and I talked about a lot before I started my blog. There was a lot of back and forth and we didn’t want to put our information out there for everyone to see because so many people would find out about the site and see our financial situation.
And it has, I have had friends call and tell me they had no idea our situation was so bad, but I have loved it because they have been so supportive.
That being said I do hold back a lot on my site because of the fact that so many personal friends and family do read it regularly.
That’s great that your friends have been really supportive and I’m glad that you and your wife found the confidence to go public from the start!
Hi! Thank you for your post! I’m just starting out and not super active, but I too choose to be anonymous. I’m a private person and I’m afraid of what those closest to me would have to say. I know I’d get their support, but I’m still afraid to be judged. I do wonder how to be successful while being anonymous, but it’s nice to know there are success stories out there!
No worries Dorothy, good luck with your blog – I look forward to checking it out! 🙂
I too blog anonymously though my family and a few friends know about my blog. My anonymous status does hold me back – I can’t follow bloggers on Facebook with my page, joining blogging groups has been awkward, etc, using my own photos would make life much easier. I love the freedom of writing anonymously especially when it comes to work and careers. I am an introvert and occasionally write about my insecurities and would feel weird having people I know read about my lack of confidence.
Because friends read my blog it does hold me back writing about finances. One of the biggest financial decisions of my life – having to bail out my husband’s sister when she upsized her home in retirement and ran out of money my husband forbid me to write about. He also won’t let me write about his health issues which were surprises in his retirement.
Some day if I retire and try to blog or write an eBook for money I may use my real identity, but have considered using a variation of my name. We shall see. Anonymous works for now.
Great post Hayley! I definitely think you have shown that anonymous bloggers can be successful! You are doing an amazing job and I think the fact that you are so open about your debt and personal story make you more relatable. I love your blog and the stories you share! I was a private person until I met my husband. He is very extroverted so I think I have caught some of his spirit. I look forward to reading your blog posts! You are my inspiration. Keep on keepin on girl!
I blog anonymously, too, for some of the reasons you mentioned, in particular to protect my family’s privacy.
I have no problem reading or connecting with anonymous blogs, myself. I connect with the blogger’s content, not their personal particulars, or their picture.
Amy @ DebtGal recently posted…May 1 Debt Total & April Side Hustle Income
I have taken a similar approach to blogging so far! My real life friends and family don’t know I have a blog at all, and I haven’t added a personal picture yet after almost 8 months. It’s a weird thing – being so open online and so private in person. But it’s working for me, so that’s what matters!
Erin @ Stay At Home Yogi recently posted…How Yoga Has Made Me a More Blissful Mom
I write anonymously for the same reason as you did – so I can be totally honest without feeling uncomfortable. My blog holds a picture of me that could be recognised if someone already knows me, but for some reason I don’t expect my friends to hang around on personal finance blogs.
It’s funny though, I feel somewhat embarrassed to share stuff with my own friends and family on Facebook, but I have no objections against writing about the full extent of our debt, our mistakes and our dreams on my blog.
What an interesting post, with equally interesting comments. I just started a blog anonymously out of fear mostly that my employer would be annoyed, but also because it just felt a little more comfortable. It’s nice to see that I am not alone in feeling a little on the fence about friends or family reading it. If I the blog proves to some degree successful and I continue, I might feel a little less self-conscious. I certainly don’t mind anonymous blogs at all. It goes against the general advice out there, but I don’t need a major window into someone’s person life to appreciate the insights they have to offer.
Hi Hayley!
Really enjoyable and interesting post! I know exactly how you feel! I also don’t feature my face/full details while blogging and for me its because my day job is quite public and restricted in terms of what I can and can’t say. Also – when you’re deep in debt it does feel shameful. I couldn’t even talk to my family about it so how could I expose myself to the world?
I constantly wonder about going public but I’m happy now to blog anonymously and its always fantastic to see someone who has succeeded and not felt the pressure to ‘reveal’ themselves! 🙂
Yay!
Natalya x
Natalya @ Cottage Retreatist recently posted…Changing times at the Cottage Retreat
Hi Natalya thank you for your lovely comment! I do feel the pressure sometimes to reveal myself but I think for me this is the right thing to do. In terms of your blog – I feel as if I “know you” even though you’re semi-anonymous! Really good to get your perspective on this from one anonymous british blogger to another! xo
I thought long and hard about whether to stay anonymous or not, but chose to reveal myself as I wanted to be held accountable for my saving. I have to say it really worked knowing that some of my friends and family are keeping an eye on me! But each to their own in all honesty, and yeah J.Money is just J.Money, I think it would be weird to even know his real name now!
David @ Thinking Thrifty recently posted…What Is Matched Betting?
Thanks for sharing this! I can really relate to so much that you’ve said, and to the comments from the other bloggers as well!
I’ve got a lot to think about in terms of how anonymity will impact the kind of posts that I write, but for now I’m sticking with it 🙂
No worries Lee! I’ve toyed with the idea of “coming out” on the blog with a photo and my full name but for me I think this is the right decision for now. I’m glad this post has given you another perspective to think about. 🙂
I’ve spent many many hours thinking about this. I’ve always been semi-anonymous like you. Although I do use pictures of myself, I’ve never published my last name or the city I live in.
I’m about to start a new job with the government where I’ll be working in a very confidential environment. It’s got me thinking about this anonymous thing a lot again, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
I’m also getting married soon, and will be changing my name, so I’m considering keeping my maiden name as my pen name (but still keeping it relatively private, except for when I conduct business online).
Amanda @ My Life, I Guess recently posted…Having a Cold is Expensive
I’m a new blogger and I’m still making up my mind about the anonymity thing. While I’m deciding, anonymous is safer. I used to post loads on money saving expert and I was randomly recognised from it at toddler group. It was a completely surreal experience and I didn’t like it at all. The site was never the same for me again after that
OMG I can’t believe someone recognised you from MSE. That is scary, because it’s quite a big site. You must have posted some memorable things! Good luck with blogging, I’m sure you’ll find your own way in terms of staying anonymous or coming out.