As a working parent (and the parent that is around more), I continually face the challenge of contributing to support our family financially whilst being there for our daughter ‘G’. My hubby works away a lot and we don’t have family nearby so it’s just me and G most of the time. The hubby works various hours and there isn’t a set pattern but his job usually involves working late and being away at the weekends.
I need to earn money to contribute towards our regular household bills and the debts of course. Things are a lot better for us debtwise than they were a year ago so if I didn’t earn one month, we would survive – just. Not for long though. Without me earning regularly, we’d soon be up sh*t creek without a paddle, so I do ‘need’ to earn an income.
Working parents usually have to contend with childcare costs
There’s the challenge right there. Childcare costs an arm and a leg when you add it all up. I run a small self employed business from home but I often scout the local jobs section looking for a regular job where I can earn a reliable income every month. Sometimes I see a job that matches my skills and the wages looks pretty good too. Then I start working out the nitty gritty of how much I’ll pay in childcare and taxes of course and I’m just no better off. In fact I’d be worse off because I wouldn’t be seeing G as much.
We can get by with what I’m doing now, but I don’t make much money. Yet when you work in the cost of not having to commute to and from work, plus the benefit of being physically there for G, then this option looks reasonable. Yet I’m struggling with the situation right now, because I want to make sure that we can build the secure financial future that we need long term and in order to do that I need to earn much more money.
You know the crazy thing? If I quit my self employed business and didn’t work at all, we’d probably be entitled to government benefits because our total family income would be below the threshold. I could receive a similar amount of money each month for not working at all!
Am I tempted to do that? No, because I actually like working and keeping my brain active. I want to be able to support my family!!
There is a light on the horizon which came out in the recent Budget, in that working parents who earn less than £150K jointly are expected to receive up to £2000 annually towards childcare costs from Autumn 2015 (by way of tax free childcare up to a certain amount). It’s something at least, but I don’t know how this will affect me if I’m still self-employed at that time.
My options as a working parent
So to summarise, here’s my situation. The hubby works long irregular hours. I’m the sole carer for our child a lot of the time so childcare costs are a major factor. This means I can’t just go out and get a second job in the evening or weekends doing bar work or similar.
Option 1: I could put G in childcare and get a full time job and when she starts school, I could pay a little less in childcare. I could then build a career for the future. But I wouldn’t be there for her and I really want to make sure that I’m around especially because the hubby is away so much as it is.
Option 2: I could get a part time job fitting in with G’s nursery which is now funded for 15 hours per week. The only thing is that I would probably be earning the same amount of money or less than what I’m doing right now.
Option 3: I carry on with my variable self employed business whilst trying to carve out a freelancing career and exploring other money making ideas from home. I work even harder at what I’m already doing. I get to be there for ‘G’, taking her to and from nursery and when she’s poorly or on school holidays, she just stays at home with me. I don’t have to take time off work because of the fact that I’m self employed and can ‘rejig’ things. Now I have it written down, this is the only option that makes logical sense to me!!
This is a battle I have with myself constantly. I frequently wonder whether I’m doing the best for us long term whilst trying to be a good parent at the same time!
If you have kids, do you find it a challenge to juggle work and parenting?
*Image courtesy of Free Digital Photos
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You may also be interested in a post I wrote earlier this week over at Debt Advice Blog on the topic of Managing Debt with Kids. I’d really appreciate you heading on over and taking a look!
15 Comments
This is my single biggest challenge. I want to setup a whole side income business so that I can spend more time with my wife and son, but I find that it demands so much of my time that I am missing out on bits and pieces right now.
What I now try to do is only work on my side business when my son goes to sleep. And I make a point of spending at least 1 night a week dedicated to my wife (although that is a minimum we normally spend time together on Friday night as well).
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It’s tough isn’t it trying to juggle everything! I also try and work on things when my daughter is asleep. I’m usually so tired myself then though. 🙁 Good idea to actually try to structure ‘side hustle’ time so that it works around the family.
While ‘G’ is still below school age, it sounds like your are doing the right thing, Hayley. Is there a variety of semi-passive jobs you could do that take less of your time? i.e. pet sitting, take in a boarder. We are fortunate to have a finished basement and rent it out to coop students who come on four month work terms in our city. This gives us $460/month which basically pays our property taxes. We like it because if we ever get a student that doesn’t work out, we know the time frame is limited. We really have not had any bad ones. They mostly stay to themselves, but we do interact, like on Saturday nights we often ask them to dine with us. Otherwise they do their own food preparation etc. They are from a well known university and are quite motivated in their jobs so we really have a good market to draw from. Sorry, to ramble on. I was just trying to think of a few more options for you so that you did not have to put ‘G’ in day care but still bring in more income. 😉
P.S. Your new site is still a WIP?
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Thanks for your suggestions Debs! I have thought about pet sitting actually and will look more into this. We don’t have room for a boarder though but I agree that’s a good way to make money. Yes my new site is still in development! It will be ready soon I promise but I’m just testing a few things out and then I need to figure out how to make it ‘live’. You can have a sneak preview of it though if you look at my new gravatar. 🙂
As I read your options I could tell which one you were already leaning towards. I would go with my gut on this one. I think it’s tough for parents out there because you’re right, sometimes the cost of childcare alone would be what you’re making, so why bother? Maybe revisit the idea of part time work when she is school age so you aren’t paying for daycare and earning a little? But by that time I hope your home business will have taken off and you are making the big bucks! 🙂
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Thanks Tonya! Yeah, I think I knew what I was leaning towards as I was writing this post. Sometimes writing choices like these down paves the way to a logical answer I guess. I love blogging for this reason and to get the advice of my blogger buddies!
I don’t have kids, so take this for what’s it worth. My mom was NEVER around when I was a kid. She was so dedicated to her job that my younger brother and I never saw her. She came home after we were in bed for the night and left just when we were waking up the next morning. She took my brother and put him in daycare when he was just 6 days old so she could go back to work. I feel like I didn’t have a mom growing up. My dad worked full time too, but he made time for us. He picked us up from school and daycare. He cooked us supper, helped with homework, etc. Take the route that let’s you make income and be there for your daughter, it’s important!
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Thanks for sharing this Shoeaholicnomore – I’m sorry to hear that your mum wasn’t around. I’m sure she had the best intentions for you all but I appreciate you being honest about how things were for you because this is really helpful for me. I want my daughter to know I’m around especially because her dad isn’t all that often.
Hayley, no matter which option you choose, I think you’ll still be a wonderful mother! It’s very obvious you care so much for G, and want to be there for her, and that is a great thing. My mom worked part-time at night, once my dad was home from work to take over. Then when I was in school, she worked part-time at the high school library, so her days off matched up with mine. She was home by the time I got off the school bus.
She finally transitioned to full-time when I was a teen – when she deemed me safe to take care of myself. I did see my dad, but he worked long hours and often stayed late at his job. He was at least around on weekends, though. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have your hubby gone so often. My cousins are in somewhat of a similar situation. One works and travels a decent amount, and the other stays local. They’ve had their daughter in daycare since she was about 4 months old.
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Aw thank you E.M! It sounds like your mum and dad did a great job of juggling things to look after you and work whilst you were growing up. My mum did the same kind of thing – working evenings when my dad got home from work and then she came back just before bed time. I never really realised until now how they had to juggle things too.
After I gave birth to my very first daughter, a few months later I went to work again. It’s so hard for me, especially that I had to breastfeed her for 1 year and six months. That’s why I stopped working and decided to be a full time mom.
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Wow Marie, I can imagine how hard that must have been for you. Well done to you for making that call – it sounds like it was the right one!
As a working mom with two kids and a full-time job, this subjects hits home with me. It is made especially difficult because there is no one right answer for everyone. But I will say we have benefited most from looking at this subject from both sides of the coin – increasing income AND cutting expenses. Likely you have done the same. We went to great lengths to cut expenses and now have much greater flexibility which I’m hoping to soon enjoy. In addition, we looked at how mine AND my husbands incomes and schedules could change to positively benefit our family. When I get on a mission such as this, I leave no rock unturned. Keep up the good work!
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I think you made the right choice, too. There’s clearly no right answer, or a choice that’s all good or all bad.
I work part time on a college campus throughout the school year, which means I have no regular income May-August. I love my job and it allows me to be present for my daughter, who’s finishing preschool and heading to full-day kindergarten in September. But we opted to have a sitter care for her when she wasn’t in school on my work days, and this cost us almost half of my hourly wage. Yes, more (and a more regular) income from me would be helpful, but this is the right balance for our family, at this stage in our lives. The debt repayment will accelerate when she’s a bit older and I can work more.
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Hey Hayley.
It’s definitely not easy to work and raise a child or two or three…and you can only do what feels right for you.
With that said, I’m with you on option 3 🙂
Take care and my best to all.
Lyle
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