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27 Comments
If I ever have these type of thoughts creep into my head I remind myself, that is person’s opinion really isn’t that important to me and move on.
Brian @DebtDiscipline recently posted…Week End Round Up #39
I think that’s the way to do it Brian! If I’m feeling down fed up by what someone has said to me or by what they possibly think about me, then I ask myself what I’m gaining by dwelling on it. I usually can’t change anything so moving forward is the best option!
I used to are a lot about what others thing. Now I’m at the point where I couldn’t possibly care less. I don’t know what’s better 😛
Michelle recently posted…$12,787 in June – Site Redesign and More Motivation
Lol! Probably the latter I think! 🙂
I think I’ll always care somewhat what people think of me, but hopefully in the positive way like that I’m a good friend, daughter, worker, etc. I always wonder about people who say “I do’t care what people think of me!!!” They are always the ones who actually kind of care the most. Anyway, I digress, because I get where you’re coming from. I think you friend might have touched a nerve without knowing with you. When it comes to situations like that, and I’ve been in a couple, I find it’s fun to tell the straight up truth. Either people feel embarrassed they made a comment they shouldn’t have, or they think, “wow that’s pretty awesome you have your priorities so straight…I wish I did!!!” They way I also don’t stew and the comment. I get it right there in the open. And occasionally something cool happens like that friend knows a friend getting rid of a perfectly good couch. Anyway, I get that it still hurts though!
Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…The Final Destination Is Worth the Pain of Starting Over
Lol! I think you’re right Tonya, my friend did touch a nerve and that’s probably my own doing for not being straight up with her. I never even thought about telling her, lol! Maybe I should have done that. I’m sure there will be another opportunity. 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, I do care what people think of me (I guess you can’t stop caring at all) but I definitely don’t worry about their opinion as much as I used to. I’d never get into debt by going along with things again for fear of offending someone. I’ve done that too many times in the past!
LOVE this, Hayley!!! I just went through this over the winter when a guest at my home mentioned that “it’s really not that expensive to at least get sofa covers for your sofas”. I freaked out at first, and then stood up tall. Our freedom from debt is well worth putting up with some worn sofas for a few years.
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer recently posted…June 2014 Debt Payoff Recap
Thanks Laurie! 🙂 So nice to know that you’re prepared to put up with worn sofas for a while longer like us whilst we’re busy paying debt off! When it comes down to it, they’re just sofas after all! 🙂
I was recently going through a new report which suggested that Brits spend few hundred quid extra just to please their friends, family and peers. The pressure of others and our tendency to avoid looking bad makes spend a lot..
really an interesting post..
Adnan @ The Simple Quid recently posted…How to choose right 0% Balance Transfer Credit Card?
Yeah I can imagine people spending money to please others – I’ve definitely done that far too many times before!
Hayley, you are so right. It doesn’t really matter what other’s think of us, but it can be a hard thing to let go of. It sounds like you are doing a marvelous job of not letting it bother you most of the time. This is something I need to work on as well. I do feel judged sometimes, especially since my car window is currently taped in place since the piece in the door broke. But who really cares? I shouldn’t care what other people think about it and I will pay to get it fixed when I can afford to do so. It’s not an essential repair so who cares if I drive around with tape on my window for a while longer?
Kayla @ Shoeaholicnomore recently posted…Monday Again?!
Thanks Kayla, it does bother me sometimes, like in this situation but I do try to not let negative opinions (or perceived negative opinions) bother me too much. Good for you for putting off your car window repair for the time being until you can afford it – I bet quite a few people would have put something like that on credit.
Love this post – I struggle sometimes with what other people think about me; it does worry me sometimes but I try to ignore it! At the end of the day, if people are judging me, they’re probably people I don’t need in my life anyway.
Nicola recently posted…The Weekend Edition #4
You have absolutely the right attitude! And that woman is just, plain rude.
Amy recently posted…Recipes I Plan to Try This Week
This is something I constantly struggle with – especially at work. I cause myself a lot more stress and anxiety than is necessary. I think this mostly relates to the quality of my work though – it doesn’t bother me nearly as much when I’m being judged for not carrying around a designer purse or not wearing $300 shoes. My husband, friends, and dogs love me and that’s good enough. I just have to remind myself constantly….
The Bee recently posted…June Spending Recap
Caring what others think can get you a one way ticket to Brokesville if your not careful. There is so much pressure sometimes to have the most things and it can create havoc on the pocketbook. I try not to worry about what others think. It can be counter productive.
Debt and the Girl recently posted…Where Have All the Bloggers Gone?
It’s important what you think of yourself, Hayley! That lady has her priorities wrong! How rude, anyways…and I always thought British people were so polite! 😉
debt debs recently posted…Migrate WordPress.com to Self Hosted – The Live Version
I do care to an extent, but I’d like to think that it wouldn’t set of a trigger 🙂 My biggest thing is people know we have animals so it seems pointless to have super nice furniture. We clean up after them, but their hair gets on cushions, sometimes their claws are a bit sharper and scratch a bit. If they don’t lay on their blankets, their oils get on the fabric… it happens! We’re tidy and clean, but we’re an animal house 😉
Alicia @ Financial Diffraction recently posted…The Tax Bill Cometh.
Great post, Hayley. It’s really hard not to be affected by things people say – even offhand remarks. They do make us second–guess ourselves. I am one of the few working Moms in my neighborhood and when I had Lauren, many assumed I would stay home, which was never my intention. And I got lots of hurtful remarks that may me second-guess myself. But I know deep down being a working mom was the right choice for me. Just like you know that your financial freedom outweighs frayed curtains. I’m glad you’re now at place where you focus on what’s best for you and your family because that it what is going to help you achieve those big goals and dreams you have.
Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted…5 Causes of the Money Blues and How to Eliminate Them
Omg I just needed this post! Everything you said is so true… I need to keep reminding myself of my own personal and financial goals before putting the opinions of others first. Thank you for this reminder!
Michelle recently posted…Week 5 : Firework hangover
I try to remember the big goal and keep that in the fore front of my thinking, especially when people say rude things- “cheap” etc.
Michelle recently posted…Five Expensive Items Every Woman Should Own
What a great post Hayley!!
I loved your “sound” for the paranoia alert 🙂
I’m glad you realized what actually is important to you and your family, rather than what others might think important. I have found over the years, that those who criticize, no matter how slightly, have deep issues of their own insecurity and it’s their way of trying to prop themselves up in the face of others.
You have made a wonderful life for yourself and your family and it can only get better because you believe and have a purpose!
Take care and my best to all.
Lyle
lyle @ the Joy of Simple recently posted…On Not So Simple Life Distractions!
“The opinions others have of you are none of your business.” I saw this once and it stuck. I remind myself of it sometimes when I start to imagine what someone thinks about me or a situation. Their opinion (or what I perceive as their opinion from their expression/stance) is theirs. I have to make up my own mind about something with my goals and experiences in mind.
Hi Kellie, thank you for stopping by and commenting! That’s a great way to look at things. Whatever people’s opinions are of what we do shouldn’t affect our goals and values.
How rude! No one has a right to comment on things like that. Whatever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”
I wouldn’t let her back into my house.
Karissa recently posted…Will a paper route suit?