Paying off debt definitely requires you to make changes in your life. You’ll need to change your spending and saving habits for one, but after a while you probably won’t mind too much as you happily watch your debt load reduce. In addition, you might well find yourself making a very personal and unexpected change in your life too.
You might need to change your friends
Before you quickly click away from this post, never to return to this blog again, bear with me and let me explain. I know that sounds horribly harsh, so I’ll soften the blow and say that you might need to a have a rethink about SOME of your friendships.
I’m not talking about your loyal best bud that’s been by your side, through thick and thin, since the beginning of time of course. THOSE kind of friends should definitely stay put right where they are. I’m referring to the friends that you have in your life that have a certain way of holding you back or making your doubt yourself and your goals in life.
In short – those friends who have a negative influence on your life. Most of us have them. Negative people in our lives who we still class as our “friends”.
Sometimes, the negative people in our lives become like that over time. The friendship starts out two sided, with lots of positive happy memories created. Then, the friendship gradually changes until one day, you start to ask yourself whether this friendship does in fact make you happy.
Perhaps the friendship seems a bit one-sided as your “friend” seems to be less supportive than they used to be, or more self-centered, or just plain ignorant as to the challenges you’re going through in your life.
The thing is, when you’re desperately focused on getting out of debt (or any personal goal for that matter), you don’t need friendships like this to get in the way of doing what you need to do.
How your friendships can affect your personal success
Your friends can have a direct impact on whether or not you achieve your goals. If you’re surrounded by people who don’t fully understand what you’re striving for or simply don’t care or even don’t believe that you can achieve your goals, then it’ll be much harder to achieve success.
On the other hand, if you surround yourself with people who are on the same page as you, who are supportive and positive, then you’re much more likely to be able to do what it takes to succeed. Because instead of being held back, you’ll be encouraged.
A positive mindset is one that achieves results!
When it came down to my own goal of paying off debt, I did change up a couple of my friendships and I do think it was for the best. The goal of becoming debt free was so important to me that I was able to take a step back from time to time and see who my real friends were.
There’s someone I’ve not spoken to for almost three years now. This was a very old friendship, one that had changed from a really strong bond to something unrecognisable over time. This person started to take very negative views about certain things in her own life and even about mine too. I ended up feeling negative about things myself when I was around this person.
One of the reasons I distanced myself from that particular friendship was because of my goal of getting out of debt. This person knew I was up to my neck in debt, but still pressured me to keep on spending money on nights out and travelling to see her. She would complain, give me the eye rolls and make me feel bad when I said I was trying not to spend so I could get out of debt.
Eventually, I realised that this person’s influence on me wasn’t actually helping me achieve what I needed to do. So I gradually broke away from that friendship and although it was an ordeal at the time, I don’t have any real regrets now because I can see how things had really changed between us.
Without the need to maintain that friendship (and in this case the emotional and financial costs that went with it), I felt able to achieve more. I felt happier overall. I no longer had to explain why I couldn’t spend X amount on a night out and no longer had to feel guilty about whether or not I was being a good friend.
Friendships change and that’s ok!
We all need friends for various psychological reasons and especially because it’s in our human nature to want to trust and feel close to someone. But some friendships have a dark side and they can have the power to get in the the way of the progress that you’re trying to make in your own life. It’s sad when friendships break down but sometimes it’s actually for the best.
Has a friend held you back in some way before?